____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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