what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize