I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
