why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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