she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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