I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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