And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
