I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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