Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
