you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
