He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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