a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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