fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
