You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
