So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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