If that was your dad, he is hot
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
