it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize