i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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