I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
