totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
