I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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