found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
