But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
time to smoke my breakfast
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They have beer where we have blood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
