haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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