NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
