Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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