You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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