Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
