Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
