let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
