I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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