I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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