you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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