Christians are straight up FREAKS
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
