yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
