Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
