Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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