I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
