he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
