I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
