He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
