I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
