and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
