who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
