what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
MIDGETS
????
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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