false alarm. still invincible.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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