cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
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I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
whose parrot is this?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.