He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.