I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Actions speak louder than pants.
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Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing