I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
