Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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