1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
