And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
