I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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