I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
