I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
