Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
